First of all, I shamelessly plagiarized the title of my post from Dr. Denis Leary's book, but bear with my impudence and let me tell you that I admire Mr. Leary, and I think he is one of the best actors, writers and stand-up comedians of our time. I actually haven't read his book yet, the hardcover is on its way from US to Bulgaria, thanks to Amazon, who still supply good literature to this God forgotten, or God damned country. By the way I happen not to believe in God, but putting "God" in the sentence would probably exhilarate the effect of my point, or not?! Well it seems like I'm not only cynical, I'm also a cynical ass! Back to the topic at hand, but not right away, otherwise it wouldn't be me posting a blog, it would be some kind of a "Straight Talk Express" guy ( couldn't resist the pun, sorry McCain ). Second, I wrote this one in English for couple of reasons: one is that I would like as many people as possible to realize that Bulgaria and Bulgarians for that matter (which I am also part of) do suck! We are morons, and quite frankly this is the worst understatement in the world and if someone ever told you that the people living in Bulgaria are smart just have in mind that put next to Sarah Palin they are dumb ass, know nothing 5th graders, which in fact is also true for the writer of this blog, despite of your impression. Have in mind that he still lives in Sofia, one of the worst cities in the world, ergo he's an idiot, too! And the second reason is that I actually write and think in English only when I'm really fucked up, tired or pissed, or all of the above - and in fact I'm - courtesy of a certain woman I should mention!

But let me get to "Education". Bulgarians are proud of their education system, they think that Bulgarian education is one of the best in the world, they would like to point out the numerous foreign students studying in our universities. The truth is that most of the foreigners attending our schools are from countries like Iran, Iraq, Syria and other places from the middle east. They are mainly studying for doctors or dentists, and having in mind the fact that they are not very well received in other places in the world, it is not uncommon for them to come to Bulgaria. Also Bulgaria is an ex-commy country, are you still with me, if not you're probably living in Bulgaria or a dumb ass citizen of Alaska, either way for you I'll write it S-L-O-W-L-Y - dictators kinda like each other, no matter if the name is Saddam Hussein, Leonid Brezhnev or Todor Zhivkov. So there is a long history of people from middle east countries coming to Bulgaria to study, hell, we once even had an exchange program with Vietnam and Cuba, just because they were totalitarian, too! There are of course other foreigners attending our schools, some are from African countries, and yes, Africa is not a country by itself, believe it or not, there are a lot of people living in Bulgaria who think, sorry for the oxymoron, like Palin. There are quite few students from Greece. Ah, Greece. The only reason Greeks come to Bulgaria is that over here it is a lot cheaper than it is in Thessaloniki or Athens, not because our higher education is better.

So finally I reached the reason why I started this blog post. I'm a tax payer. Actually I'm not only a tax payer, I'm also one of the tax payers that contribute a lot to the budget of our country. I would not like to disclose my salary, but let's say that for the last 5 or so years I've been receiving a pay in the amount of several thousands of levs, and bear in mind that the official minimum salary in Bulgaria right now is 220 levs, and most of the people get monthly checks in between 400 and 600 levs. So, even in Bulgaria, when you get paid more money, you pay bigger taxes, something with which I wouldn't be having a problem if I knew my taxes are going were they should. One example would be better equipment in hospitals, and just the bear minimum of sedatives, I happen to have a fairly high pain threshold, but next time if I happen to get 40 or 50 stitches I wouldn't mind a little sedative, not an apology that they ran out of pain killers. Back to the education system, though. There is University in Bulgaria, the one they call the Alma Mater - that is the oldest Uni in Bulgaria - The Sofia University - "St. Kliment Ochridski". And Alma Mater* it is, infact! (I sounded a bit like Yoda, well I have the geeks on board now.) I took the liberty to check what is the tuition in Sofia University. The fees are available for the public here: http://www.uni-sofia.bg/index.php/bul/studenti/administrativno_obsluzhvane/uchebni_proceduri_i_srokove/godishni_taksi_za_stepen_magist_r_sled_pridobita_obrazovatelno_kvalifikacionna_stepen_bakalav_r_sreschu_zaplaschane_prieti_predi_uch_2008_2009_g and what is obvious is that the most a student has to pay is around 1700 levs (or 850 euro, or around US $1070). Which having in mind the fact that Bulgarians are lazy, do not like to work, and are not very smart, ergo get small salaries, is still very cheap, but wait till you get the next part. There is a scholarship program at Sofia University. During the year of 2008/2009 you would receive scholarship in the amount of 120 levs per month for 9 months. Which makes exactly 1080 levs or around 63.5 % of the tuition, and that is if you attend one of the "expensive" programs. If you go to the ones with tuition fee of 900 levs, you will get 20% more than you pay for your education. Eligible for a scholarship this year are around 3000 students. A total of 3,240,000 levs. So here is where my taxes go!

To that I say loud and clear: Fuck You! Fuck the state! Fuck the university and on top of that Fuck the students! Just one giant ; F-U-U-U-U-U-C-K!

Why so explicit, you might ask. Well, in Bulgaria, students can work a full week, or 40 hours, there is no limitation what-so-ever, and most of them do, they get free rides on public transport, they do not pay health care insurance, the country does it for them (actually other taxpayers do), they live in dorms where the rent they pay is a fraction of the amount of money they pay every Friday when they hit the clubs, and on top of that, they constantly whine about the hard life they suffer. FUCK OFF!

Let me give you my point of view dear students, and this is coming from a guy who does not have a higher education, but throughout his 12 years of studying, till he graduated high school, his parents have paid tuition to private schools, and no matter how fucked up I am, my education actually paid off. Yes I'm a pompous prick, yes, I'm complete asshole, and yes, I had my share of authority problems in every school I attended, but actually I learned something, I learned a lot, when I come to think of it, so much that I'm now able to support myself and my parents, and live a so-so life, although I still consider myself a poor bastard, even though most people will say I'm a member of Bulgaria's middle class, a transcendent term I would say, because in Bulgaria there isn't middle class, there never was, and I assume there never will be.

So why we suck?! One of the reasons is that our education sucks! Till early university tuition fee is the amount you spend during a month for basic needs - rent, food, going out and getting wasted, and then you get back 60% to 120% in a scholarship, then after you graduate you are a know-nothing moron, because lets not kid ourselves, the teachers get smaller salaries than the students they are teaching, and it is oh-so-normal that they lack the motivation to actually teach you something. And after you get a bachelor or a master degree in one of the many flavors of moronism, you seek a job, any job, that is secure but the payout is somewhere in between 400 to 600 levs, because you don't have a student loan to pay, your tuition wasn't 40000 levs, or 30000 levs or even 10000 levs per year, you actually got paid to be a moron, not to learn something and in the end you don't have a motivation to work a job that pays a lot, so that you can support yourself, pay your debts and live a good life. But who am I kidding, most of you already know that you lack the knowledge and the skills for a good job position, and the rest of you - well, you are the scariest mother-fuckers out there, 'cause you are both stupid and self-confident.

Yet again this is only one reason that we suck! I suppose Denis Leary would not only agree with me, but he would probably recheck his title, and would change it something along the lines of "Yes, we suck, but wait till you see how much the others suck", and while I'm trowing gas in the fire, let me just point out, Bulgaria is not that different from the rest of Europe. Most places in the EU have the same wrong policy about education -- that it should be affordable and accessible to anyone. It shouldn't! You have to prove that you deserve a higher education, or any education at all!

* Alma Mater means "nourishing mother" in latin